20th November 2010 - Thanksgiving

Next week is Thanksgiving, and so my thoughts go to some of the many things that bless my life every day. I think of my family, my friends, Maryknoll community, my faith and insights, our neighborhood, living in Tanzania, my students, fellow staff members, neighbors, sunrise in the morning, sunsets in the evening, clouds soon to bring rain, flowers on the baobab trees, breezes in the trees, lizards playing on the walls, water in the taps, electricity, a car to take me places out of the sun, children laughing as they pass the house, my mission vocation, food in the cupboard, books to read, music to listen to, our church community, people who I love and who love me. And that’s just a couple of minutes of thought. Really, life is blessed. One thing I’ve realized lately is how many more people from around here that I know now than I did one year ago. We were at a gathering a few weeks ago and it was nice to be able to recognize, to talk to, to know so many people. That wasn’t true a year ago, and it’s a nice feeling.

Yesterday was the last day of teaching for the year and I can hardly believe that the school year is over. Next week we have examinations, then marking and preparing the report cards, and school closing date is December 4th. It’s really been a good year and I’ve enjoyed the students so much. Yesterday I asked them what they most appreciated about their year of leaning English and what they disliked about it, then asked their advice on how I could do better next year. The great majority were very positive in their responses and there were sentences like “I love my English teacher” (Those are the ones who will get “A’s” !) and lots of expressions of gratitude. Almost everyone wrote about how they liked that I taught them songs in English. They also appreciated that I took time to answer their questions and to help those who didn’t understand. There were a couple comments as to what they disliked, and it was when I became angry (Yes, it happened a few times when I got really annoyed with their behavior ….). Some commented on how I could improve by saying that they would like that I mark ALL their exercises. I’m sure they’d like that but marking every exercise they do for 90 students makes me tired just thinking about it. Most of the time I asked them to mark their own, and gave them weekly quizzes which I marked in order to ascertain their progress. Anyway, it was a good exercise and most of them asked if I would be teaching them again next year. I won’t – I’ll be teaching the new Form I students and hand over these, who will be in Form II, to another teacher.

This morning at our Small Christian Community meeting and as we prayed the gospel of tomorrow, the last Sunday of the church year, it’s amazing to realize that Advent starts next week and Christmas isn’t far behind. 2011 is just around the corner.

Happy Thanksgiving and an enjoyable holiday season to you.

20th October 2010 – Early Mornings

Some thoughts /observations as I go out walking in the early morning.
Water: The other early morning people are mostly looking for water. Women from the outlying areas are coming in to try to find a tap that has water. Young boys are on their bicycles with four or five buckets tied to them, going for water for which they’ll be paid.

Fuel: Women are going to the hills in the distance to look for firewood to bring back. Some will use it for their own cooking and some will be sold. Men come walking (trotting) with charcoal that they’ve made, carried in two sacks with a pole over their shoulders. This will be sold to one of the many people who still use charcoal for cooking.

School: Children start to leave their houses on their way to school as I return from my morning walk (about 6.45). The children are of all sizes but what impresses me are the little ones, first graders or kindergarteners, who are walking all by themselves. I met one such little girl this morning, going to first grade, all dressed neatly and cleanly in her uniform (skirt much too long for her but I suppose “she’ll grow into it”) on her way to a school which is about two miles away. What a beautiful smile she had on her face. I’m grateful that these children are safe enough to do this. There are many children walking along the side of a very busy main road as I go to school in the mornings and I’m happy that just recently the traffic police have begun to appear at the place where they need to cross the road. At least they’ll be able to do that safely as the trucks and buses roar by on their way to Dar es Salaam in the morning.

Agriculture: The clouds are beginning to form in the sky these days and smell of burning fields is in the air which means that folks are beginning to prepare for the next planting season. And this morning I saw a fellow on his way out to some field, a hoe in one hand and a panga (machete) in the other. Let’s hope and pray that the rains are good this year.

8th September 2010 - Mid-term Break Time

Another long time has passed since I posted anything on this blog. What I’m thinking about today is how things change and especially how nature changes. Suddenly we find ourselves in what seems like a different season here. Today was the first day in a long time I walked in the morning without a sweater. The dry bushes are beginning to bloom, the flowers of “kiangazi” (dry season). The field mice are scurrying around when I’m walking along the road. I’m thinking about washing my blanket and putting it away for a few months. All of these outside changes bring a change inside as well, or so it seems. It’s hard to articulate what those changes are but I can feel them.

Or maybe it’s because I’m a bit tired after what seems like a rather long couple of months. Anyway, our mid-term exams at school are over with and the students go home on Saturday. The break is only one week and during that week we teachers will have a seminar/workshop with folks from the Ministry of Education. Apparently there are some aspects of the syllabus (“new” from 2005) that they want to share with us so it is said we’ll be learning from 8 a.m. until 4.30 p.m. all week. That’s a lot of time so I hope it’s worthwhile. I’m looking forward to meeting teachers from other schools and sharing resources and experiences, however.

The students have been in a “mood” this week. I don’t think it’s a very good plan to have them remain at school after exams are finished but the reason for that is so the teachers can finish marking exams and then prepare some short report for the students to go home with. The intention is good but the students’ thoughts are at home and no longer at school so it’s a challenge to have them pay attention in class. We’ve been doing more singing than usual because they love singing, and at least that keeps them awake and attentive when they’re not in the mood for learning.

I just went to the local fruit and vegetable seller to buy five oranges and five bananas. While I was there (a makeshift table under a tree) a little boy came wandering by, about 2 or 3 years old. He was from a traditional house just down the road and was looking so longingly at the oranges that were being sold. Of course I bought him an orange, and you should have seen his eyes light up! It’s the little things in life…

14th August 2010- Reflections on the Death of a Friend

Sharing some of my thoughts of the past week seems to be a good way to work through a little of the sadness I feel at the loss of my dear friend, Patricia Kelley. It’s hard to believe that so many emotions could be packed into this one week since it was really only one week ago that I was struck with the fact that we were really going to have to say good-bye to Pat here on earth. Although she had been struggling with her disease for about 3 ½ years, still I always believed that she was going to win the struggle and be with us for some years yet. But maybe it was blindness and not wanting to believe – whatever, last weekend her condition grew worse, Monday she returned to her home under Hospice care, and on Tuesday she went to be received by the angels and her loving God.

I never had a blood sister, only brothers, but I feel like I had a close facsimile to a sister in Pat. Her entrance into my life came in 1964 when we met at Maryknoll after having spent our earlier years as Maryknoll Sisters in different parts of the country. Who knows what makes a friendship bloom, but ours did very quickly and strongly. I remember so many good times together during those early years, as we learned together and struggled through those tumultuous days of change in the church. We read the works of Teilhard de Chardin together, puzzling over what he was saying while somehow knowing that even in its obscurity it was important. Then she went to NYC for nursing and I to Manhattanville for music, and although we saw a little less of each other, still we remained very close. I remember my graduation recital at Manhattanville, and how she made the trip from NYC to be with me at that special occasion. As always she knew just the right touch, and brought me flowers – just a sign of her always present graciousness.

Then I went to Tanzania and she finished her degree. Her life took a different turn from mine at that point and I was devastated when she wrote to me that she was leaving Maryknoll. I nearly left myself at that point, but something kept me in while the same thing urged Pat onto a different path.

And fortunately even though our paths took different directions, we kept close in heart. We never lost that special connection. I’ve always been grateful that I’ve been blessed with many “homes” – farm home in North Dakota, Maryknoll Center, different places in Tanzania, and added to that was Pat’s home. I was always welcome, felt completely at home in her house; truly it was a home for me. Pat was the only “East Coast” friend who ever visited my farm home in North Dakota, and she did it twice! That meant so much to me, and was such a visible sign that Brooklyn and rural North Dakota have something in common.

I loved it when we were together and people commented that we must be sisters. First of all, I was extremely flattered because Pat was so beautiful. And maybe like couples grow to look like each other after a long time, our friendship made us resemble each other in some way that people saw.

Her generosity to me was outstanding. I won’t even try to enumerate the gifts, but my first major league baseball game and my first Broadway show were only two of the many experiences I had because of her generosity. And looking in my closet I can pull out this which was Pat’s and that which Pat gave me. She liked to get her nails done, and we went many times together and sat chatting while our feet got pampered. She was gracious to say that she wanted company, but don’t think that I didn’t enjoy it as much as she did.

Gentleness, graciousness, thoughtfulness, interest in so many things: These are just a few other lovely qualities that Pat had. She touched so many lives, through her work and her commitment to it as well as lots of people from very ordinary encounters. Her bravery during her illness was outstanding. She will be missed so much. Robert, her husband, is absolutely amazing and his care for her during her illness was an inspiration to many. She loved her boys so much and she is such an example of a loving mother. She was proud of them, and she had every right to be so. She so looked forward to her first grandchildren, and the twins shared just a little more than a month of time on earth with their grandmother.

During these last couple of days of her wake and funeral mass I’ve been constantly thinking about all those who loved her so much and the rituals connected with saying goodbye to her. I have been living in two spaces: bodily I’m here in Dodoma but mentally and emotionally I’m in New Jersey. I’m so grateful to Pat’s loved ones who have kept closely in touch during these days. That means so much to me.
Although we are saying farewell to Patricia as we knew her, she remains with us in so many other ways. Her loving spirit is part of our lives, a part that will never die, and so gratitude is so strongly connected with sadness right now. Thank you, Pat, for sharing your life with me.

21st July 2010 - Long silence

It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything here. Why? Lazy, vacation, wondering if it’s interesting to anyone. But with just a little encouragement, here I am.

Last time I wrote, we had just finished the first term of school and were planning to teach extra classes during the school holidays. Those went well but unfortunately during the last week of classes the five-month old baby of one of the teachers died of malaria. It is so hard understand why so many people, children and babies especially, are still dying from malaria. It seems like this little one shouldn’t have died – he was healthy, well nourished, well taken-care of. But when he got malaria it seems that maybe he was given too high a dose of quinine. They say that the medication that children were given in the past is no longer effective, and so some kind/dose of quinine is given to them these days. Anyway, little Godi started throwing up and having diarrhea, got severely dehydrated, seemed to be getting better with liquids/oral rehydration, etc., but then took a turn for the worse. When they took him to the main hospital on that last Thursday evening, there was only one doctor on duty, and there also had been an accident and this doctor was dealing with a lot of severely injured people as well. By the time the baby was prescribed a drip, they couldn’t find any vein in which to insert the needle. By 8.30 in the morning he was dead.

I sat with the mother for quite a while after they brought the baby’s body home, as is the custom here. The bereaved woman sits on the floor and those who commiserate sit with her as she cries, wails, laments, etc. Not much is said, but I guess just being there is helpful. The men are in another part of the house, making arrangements, etc. My fellow teacher was sobbing when we met, but later was meeting with other men. There needed to be a coffin made, grave dug, etc. so those were their jobs. So sad.

The following weekend our friend came to visit, and a wonderful visit we had. We lived together 25 years ago: Sr. Connie, Michelle, who was a Maryknoll Lay Missioner at that time, Bibiana Mkenda, and myself. We lived in community, two Sisters and two lay women, and lived so very well together and became lasting friends. Michelle came to Tanzania with her 16 year old son, who stayed back in Dar es Salaam to work with a group of street children. The three of us (Connie, Michelle and I) drove to Singida and spent the day with Bibiana, who is now Headmistress of a large secondary school there in Singida town. We had a wonderful time, talking, remembering those days, catching up with each other, Michelle and Bibiana comparing the challenges of raising children. It was a graced time, and I think we all feel more grateful than anything else for long, lasting, strong, caring friendships.

Then off to Dar es Salaam. We Maryknoll Sisters had a two day seminar with Sr. Efu Nyaki,M.M., who is from Tanzania and whose mission is Brazil. She shared with us some of her expertise in healing and energy work. It was an excellent two days, and very helpful. Those deep breaths in the morning are a good foundation for the rest of the day!

Then a day of meeting, and finally a day at the beach, enjoying each other and catching up with the news of hither and yon. On Monday, Connie went off to the U.S. for a visit with her mom, among other things, and incidentally was able to accompany a Tanzanian woman who has just joined the Maryknoll Sisters. I stayed on in the big city and enjoyed seeing some of my old haunts. I also had a nice visit with the family of a student I had in the early 70’s. Their second daughter (now 32 years old!) is my godchild, and it was very good to see her again after a long time. By the end of the week I was back home, with evenings spent with only myself for company! During the day I’m busy enough and see plenty of people but the evenings are a bit lonely. Connie will be back before too long.

So the second term of school has started and I think we only lost one student. Others are back with plenty of energy and we’re off to a good start. This week many of them have sniffles and coughs but they’ll recover. Hope I don’t catch it ……………

18th June 2010 - Winter

Our winter is here. It’s time for a blanket on a bed and a sweater in the morning and evening. The difference between the temperature in the very early morning and that of noontime must be very great. The sun, so close to the equator that it is, is always so strong and hot but when it’s not shining, the coolness is wonderful.

The students went home for their holidays last Saturday morning. On Friday we had an assembly to close school for the first term, and at that occasion a recap of the first term was given by the academic master. The top ten students academically were recognized and the bottom seven were warned, not by name but they would find out who they were when they looked at their report forms. The school has indicated that any student not getting an average of 45 would not be allowed to continue on to the next level so the warning was that if they don’t get that average by the end of the year they won’t be allowed to go on to Form II. An average of 45 might seem like not much to those who are accustomed to another marking system, but here the marking goes like this: A = 81-100; B = 61-80; C = 41-60; D = 21-40 and F = anything under 21. Testing and marking then follows these levels. Our school average for all students and for all subjects came out to be 63 so that’s a decent average. The English average was 64 so that seems to be where we are. I certainly notice an improvement in the students’ English, and that gives me encouragement and the students feel that as well.

Starting Tuesday we began to teach some extra classes for those students who live in Dodoma. They come from their homes every morning and we have three hours of classes with them and then they return home. Parents asked for this arrangement so that their children continue to learn during holiday time, and this keeps them in the learning mode. And because they live in town, there probably aren’t a lot of tasks for them to do at home, and you know what idle hands are ….. It seems to be a good option for everyone, and will continue for the first three weeks of holiday, leaving the last one free for everyone.

Yesterday I had an appointment at 10.00 a.m. to get my hair cut. As usual, I was there on time and do you know how long I waited? Two hours. We were back and forth on the phone a few times with the hairdresser giving me the assurance that she was coming. “Just wait a little bit longer.” Since I wasn’t in a hurry to do anything else and am sort of on vacation, I waited while enjoying the plants and flowers and birds in the courtyard of the Dodoma Hotel, where she has her salon. All the same, I was practicing what I would say to her when she arrived. And when she did come, she explained that the child of a co-worker of hers was in the hospital and just as she was ready to come to cut my hair, a phone call was received asking her to bring some cooked spinach to the hospital since the child was anemic and needed to eat spinach. She explained to me that she couldn’t not do that or she would be accused of being more concerned with her work than with her friends! So what does one say to that? Nevertheless I did tell her with a smile on my face that if there was another hairdresser here in Dodoma who could cut my kind of hair, I wouldn’t go back to her. She laughed and agreed that was true, once again offering an apology. One of the first things we did when arriving in Dodoma was to inquire who cuts European hair, and she was recommended to us as the only one. She does a good enough job, but time and appointments are a challenge for her.

1st June 2010 – Is it June already ??

Another month has passed and I guess I was a bit busy since the time went SO quickly. I don’t know where the weeks and months go. For lots of youngsters in the U.S. this time of year means the end of school and a chance to enjoy good weather and the fun of summer. I hope some of you can appreciate the mosquitoes that come with the warm weather better than I. And do you know that they like to look at themselves in mirrors? Every morning I can kill (pacifist that I am) at least a couple who are sitting on the mirror in the bathroom. They also like to sit on bed nets, but at least they’re visible there and as long as they stay on the outside then they don’t disturb my sleep. I continue to wonder what purpose these creatures have on our earth…..

We see a lot of baobab fruit this time of the year. I don’t know about you but I didn’t know that baobab trees produce and edible fruit until I lived in this central part of the country where there are so many of these trees. Their fruit/seeds are in pods, some of the pods being quite large (5 – 6 inches long and a couple inches in diameter), and the seeds are small but covered with a sweet cottony something that kids love to suck on. I’ve also heard that these seeds are sometimes soaked in water and that water given to children to stop diarrhea. Collecting these seeds is a business for some, and many people use food coloring to dye them, package them, and then they’re sold in the market, on street corners and everywhere people are passing.

Coming home from work today I was reminded again about how, although we live in the capital city, our area is still very much village. I was behind a herd of cows and goats, and had to wait until they decided to get out of the way. And we hear roosters every morning (early, at a couple different times), and guinea fowls, dogs, cats, cows, goats all during the day and into the night. And this morning during my walk I was out of houses before I had gone 20 minutes, and it was just like being in the wilderness except for the things I could see in the distance. I came across a couple magnificent baobab trees during this walk, and so that reminded me to write about them. Maybe I can put a picture on the page as well, one taken of a beautiful big baobab near St. Gaspar’s Conference Centre.