Reconnecting

The last time I posted on this blog, I promised to be faithful to writing. Yikes! Two plus years later and I never fulfilled that promise. Now this morning I woke up and decided to try again. There really is plenty to write about; I just need to remember to notice it and write about it. I’ll start with yesterday. I enjoyed a very nice visit with my godchild, Jocelyn Kitakwa. Her father was a music student of mine in Dar es Salaam in the early ‘70’s (!) and during that time he got married in the southern part of Tanzania and I travelled there for the wedding (after already having made the wedding dress for the bride, never having laid my eyes on her). We have remained friends throughout the years, and at the birth of their third daughter, I was asked to be her godmother. Jocelyn is in Dodoma for a couple of weeks, playing sports (netball is her game) for her work place. There is a huge competition going on now in Dodoma with teams from all the different government agencies competing in sports like athletics, netball, football (soccer), bicycle riding and my favorite, chicken catching! Jocelyn’s team didn’t have a match yesterday afternoon so she came to visit, and it was wonderful. When I took her back to her hotel, I also met her older sister, Massa, who, with her husband, is in town for a meeting of the Tanzania Law Association. Massa is a lawyer with the Civil Aviation Commission and her husband is also a lawyer. It was very good to catch up on news of the family. On Monday school reopens after a two week mid-term break. Actually, the 2nd and 4th year students didn’t go home because they have serious national exams coming up in the next couple of months and so they stayed at school to continue their lessons. But my first year students were home so I’ve had a nice break. It was a blessing to have had that time to remember the family and mourn the passing of Monte. I won’t exhaust all observations and news that might be interesting to readers so that may prod me into writing regularly. Let’s hope!

13th March 2011 - LENTEN DISCIPLINE

I suppose it’s as good a time as any to get back to writing something on this blog. I’ve been remiss since the beginning of the year or before, so it’s probably past time to get something written. And so this will be my Lenten discipline. Not that it’s a penance to write – not at all. Just need to remember and put down some thoughts.

I was caught up just like everyone else this morning in church when the announcements were made about the festivities next weekend. These are to welcome our new bishop. All parishes in the Diocese collected money and our parish is to provide the cooks. And so the woman announcing this morning was talking about the 400 people that need to be cooked for on Thursday evening, all day Friday, and breakfast Saturday morning. Saturday is the day of the installation and that day the cooking will be for 3000! Starting tomorrow they begin to clean the rice (1000 kg) and she reminded the men that they too are needed to cut the firewood, butcher the goats (40) and chickens (don’t know how many) and cut the beef. I wonder how many steers will be hitting the dust that day! The Guest of Honour, in addition to the new Bishop, will be the President of Tanzania, so everyone is more than a little excited.

We’ve had rain, long dry spells in between, and then last weekend more rain. Everything is green and nice so I’ll try to post some pictures of the wild flowers (and some domestic ones as well). Some crops are doing alright (the millet and groundnuts) but a lot of the corn dried up during the long dry spell. I hope that there has been more consistent rains in the areas where more food crops are grown.
School is going along very well. I have two classes of first year students and most are really great students. We’re moving right along with English learning and all having a good time together. I’ve also been given the job of setting up the library so that keeps me busy on Saturdays.

More again soon – Promise!

22 December 2010 - Christmas time

Only a few days remain before we will be celebrating Christmas 2010. It seems like this year has gone very fast and soon we’ll be in a New Year once again. As I look back at this year and see that I haven’t done very many postings to this blog, I know that one reason is that has happened which I feared when I returned here to Tanzania in 2009. And that is that I have started to take things for granted again. These new eyes that I had when I returned and used to look at things, events, ways of doing, etc. when I have become so used to everything once again that I don’t see the uniqueness in them and so don’t remember to share that with the readers of these postings. But in contrast to that I can say that this Christmas I feel so much more at home here in Dodoma, know so many more people, know how to get around and not get lost, have made friends with the neighborhood, have discovered who to call on when needing help for repairs, and so many other ways that I now feel a part of this place. And so this year has been a year of settling in and feeling at home. And that has been nice.

After we closed school on the 4th of December I took a week off and had a retreat. I went to the convent of the Sisters who run the orphanage and school and they received me graciously, gave me space and food, and it was a very nice week. The room that I was given was on the second floor and I could look out the big windows on the flowers and trees that are so in abundance at the orphanage, and I could also hear the children as they played and sang and drummed, and sometimes cried. It was a good time for quiet and prayer.

In between this writing I’m baking some Christmas goodies to take along when we go to spend Christmas with our closest Maryknoll Sisters’ community in Morogoro (three hours away). Christmas sweet bread and molasses fruit cake remind me of Christmases at home, and they’re on the list of things to be baked. I’m praying that the electricity stays on. If it doesn’t I’m in trouble. :)

Christmas blessings to everyone. Let us pray for each other.

20th November 2010 - Thanksgiving

Next week is Thanksgiving, and so my thoughts go to some of the many things that bless my life every day. I think of my family, my friends, Maryknoll community, my faith and insights, our neighborhood, living in Tanzania, my students, fellow staff members, neighbors, sunrise in the morning, sunsets in the evening, clouds soon to bring rain, flowers on the baobab trees, breezes in the trees, lizards playing on the walls, water in the taps, electricity, a car to take me places out of the sun, children laughing as they pass the house, my mission vocation, food in the cupboard, books to read, music to listen to, our church community, people who I love and who love me. And that’s just a couple of minutes of thought. Really, life is blessed. One thing I’ve realized lately is how many more people from around here that I know now than I did one year ago. We were at a gathering a few weeks ago and it was nice to be able to recognize, to talk to, to know so many people. That wasn’t true a year ago, and it’s a nice feeling.

Yesterday was the last day of teaching for the year and I can hardly believe that the school year is over. Next week we have examinations, then marking and preparing the report cards, and school closing date is December 4th. It’s really been a good year and I’ve enjoyed the students so much. Yesterday I asked them what they most appreciated about their year of leaning English and what they disliked about it, then asked their advice on how I could do better next year. The great majority were very positive in their responses and there were sentences like “I love my English teacher” (Those are the ones who will get “A’s” !) and lots of expressions of gratitude. Almost everyone wrote about how they liked that I taught them songs in English. They also appreciated that I took time to answer their questions and to help those who didn’t understand. There were a couple comments as to what they disliked, and it was when I became angry (Yes, it happened a few times when I got really annoyed with their behavior ….). Some commented on how I could improve by saying that they would like that I mark ALL their exercises. I’m sure they’d like that but marking every exercise they do for 90 students makes me tired just thinking about it. Most of the time I asked them to mark their own, and gave them weekly quizzes which I marked in order to ascertain their progress. Anyway, it was a good exercise and most of them asked if I would be teaching them again next year. I won’t – I’ll be teaching the new Form I students and hand over these, who will be in Form II, to another teacher.

This morning at our Small Christian Community meeting and as we prayed the gospel of tomorrow, the last Sunday of the church year, it’s amazing to realize that Advent starts next week and Christmas isn’t far behind. 2011 is just around the corner.

Happy Thanksgiving and an enjoyable holiday season to you.

20th October 2010 – Early Mornings

Some thoughts /observations as I go out walking in the early morning.
Water: The other early morning people are mostly looking for water. Women from the outlying areas are coming in to try to find a tap that has water. Young boys are on their bicycles with four or five buckets tied to them, going for water for which they’ll be paid.

Fuel: Women are going to the hills in the distance to look for firewood to bring back. Some will use it for their own cooking and some will be sold. Men come walking (trotting) with charcoal that they’ve made, carried in two sacks with a pole over their shoulders. This will be sold to one of the many people who still use charcoal for cooking.

School: Children start to leave their houses on their way to school as I return from my morning walk (about 6.45). The children are of all sizes but what impresses me are the little ones, first graders or kindergarteners, who are walking all by themselves. I met one such little girl this morning, going to first grade, all dressed neatly and cleanly in her uniform (skirt much too long for her but I suppose “she’ll grow into it”) on her way to a school which is about two miles away. What a beautiful smile she had on her face. I’m grateful that these children are safe enough to do this. There are many children walking along the side of a very busy main road as I go to school in the mornings and I’m happy that just recently the traffic police have begun to appear at the place where they need to cross the road. At least they’ll be able to do that safely as the trucks and buses roar by on their way to Dar es Salaam in the morning.

Agriculture: The clouds are beginning to form in the sky these days and smell of burning fields is in the air which means that folks are beginning to prepare for the next planting season. And this morning I saw a fellow on his way out to some field, a hoe in one hand and a panga (machete) in the other. Let’s hope and pray that the rains are good this year.

8th September 2010 - Mid-term Break Time

Another long time has passed since I posted anything on this blog. What I’m thinking about today is how things change and especially how nature changes. Suddenly we find ourselves in what seems like a different season here. Today was the first day in a long time I walked in the morning without a sweater. The dry bushes are beginning to bloom, the flowers of “kiangazi” (dry season). The field mice are scurrying around when I’m walking along the road. I’m thinking about washing my blanket and putting it away for a few months. All of these outside changes bring a change inside as well, or so it seems. It’s hard to articulate what those changes are but I can feel them.

Or maybe it’s because I’m a bit tired after what seems like a rather long couple of months. Anyway, our mid-term exams at school are over with and the students go home on Saturday. The break is only one week and during that week we teachers will have a seminar/workshop with folks from the Ministry of Education. Apparently there are some aspects of the syllabus (“new” from 2005) that they want to share with us so it is said we’ll be learning from 8 a.m. until 4.30 p.m. all week. That’s a lot of time so I hope it’s worthwhile. I’m looking forward to meeting teachers from other schools and sharing resources and experiences, however.

The students have been in a “mood” this week. I don’t think it’s a very good plan to have them remain at school after exams are finished but the reason for that is so the teachers can finish marking exams and then prepare some short report for the students to go home with. The intention is good but the students’ thoughts are at home and no longer at school so it’s a challenge to have them pay attention in class. We’ve been doing more singing than usual because they love singing, and at least that keeps them awake and attentive when they’re not in the mood for learning.

I just went to the local fruit and vegetable seller to buy five oranges and five bananas. While I was there (a makeshift table under a tree) a little boy came wandering by, about 2 or 3 years old. He was from a traditional house just down the road and was looking so longingly at the oranges that were being sold. Of course I bought him an orange, and you should have seen his eyes light up! It’s the little things in life…

14th August 2010- Reflections on the Death of a Friend

Sharing some of my thoughts of the past week seems to be a good way to work through a little of the sadness I feel at the loss of my dear friend, Patricia Kelley. It’s hard to believe that so many emotions could be packed into this one week since it was really only one week ago that I was struck with the fact that we were really going to have to say good-bye to Pat here on earth. Although she had been struggling with her disease for about 3 ½ years, still I always believed that she was going to win the struggle and be with us for some years yet. But maybe it was blindness and not wanting to believe – whatever, last weekend her condition grew worse, Monday she returned to her home under Hospice care, and on Tuesday she went to be received by the angels and her loving God.

I never had a blood sister, only brothers, but I feel like I had a close facsimile to a sister in Pat. Her entrance into my life came in 1964 when we met at Maryknoll after having spent our earlier years as Maryknoll Sisters in different parts of the country. Who knows what makes a friendship bloom, but ours did very quickly and strongly. I remember so many good times together during those early years, as we learned together and struggled through those tumultuous days of change in the church. We read the works of Teilhard de Chardin together, puzzling over what he was saying while somehow knowing that even in its obscurity it was important. Then she went to NYC for nursing and I to Manhattanville for music, and although we saw a little less of each other, still we remained very close. I remember my graduation recital at Manhattanville, and how she made the trip from NYC to be with me at that special occasion. As always she knew just the right touch, and brought me flowers – just a sign of her always present graciousness.

Then I went to Tanzania and she finished her degree. Her life took a different turn from mine at that point and I was devastated when she wrote to me that she was leaving Maryknoll. I nearly left myself at that point, but something kept me in while the same thing urged Pat onto a different path.

And fortunately even though our paths took different directions, we kept close in heart. We never lost that special connection. I’ve always been grateful that I’ve been blessed with many “homes” – farm home in North Dakota, Maryknoll Center, different places in Tanzania, and added to that was Pat’s home. I was always welcome, felt completely at home in her house; truly it was a home for me. Pat was the only “East Coast” friend who ever visited my farm home in North Dakota, and she did it twice! That meant so much to me, and was such a visible sign that Brooklyn and rural North Dakota have something in common.

I loved it when we were together and people commented that we must be sisters. First of all, I was extremely flattered because Pat was so beautiful. And maybe like couples grow to look like each other after a long time, our friendship made us resemble each other in some way that people saw.

Her generosity to me was outstanding. I won’t even try to enumerate the gifts, but my first major league baseball game and my first Broadway show were only two of the many experiences I had because of her generosity. And looking in my closet I can pull out this which was Pat’s and that which Pat gave me. She liked to get her nails done, and we went many times together and sat chatting while our feet got pampered. She was gracious to say that she wanted company, but don’t think that I didn’t enjoy it as much as she did.

Gentleness, graciousness, thoughtfulness, interest in so many things: These are just a few other lovely qualities that Pat had. She touched so many lives, through her work and her commitment to it as well as lots of people from very ordinary encounters. Her bravery during her illness was outstanding. She will be missed so much. Robert, her husband, is absolutely amazing and his care for her during her illness was an inspiration to many. She loved her boys so much and she is such an example of a loving mother. She was proud of them, and she had every right to be so. She so looked forward to her first grandchildren, and the twins shared just a little more than a month of time on earth with their grandmother.

During these last couple of days of her wake and funeral mass I’ve been constantly thinking about all those who loved her so much and the rituals connected with saying goodbye to her. I have been living in two spaces: bodily I’m here in Dodoma but mentally and emotionally I’m in New Jersey. I’m so grateful to Pat’s loved ones who have kept closely in touch during these days. That means so much to me.
Although we are saying farewell to Patricia as we knew her, she remains with us in so many other ways. Her loving spirit is part of our lives, a part that will never die, and so gratitude is so strongly connected with sadness right now. Thank you, Pat, for sharing your life with me.